A tribute to Rusty

From our Uncle Mike: On this date, one year ago today, a life was senselessly taken, and countless others changed forever. A good and decent person was stolen by a careless driver at Ft. Bragg. Rusty, you are so loved, and so missed by so many. I love you.
Uncle Mike

I remember Rusty always enjoying what he got, and even from a very young age, knowing and proudly telling anyone who would listen the true meaning of the holiday. Always helping with decorations, and alwsys wanting to give his money to charities(salvation army bell ringers and such). Even was a bell ringer as a teen. Never saw a kid so fulfilled and happy from helping others.

I take great pride in the fact that I and Mom raised Rusty. I dare say that no one knew him better than I. He was, and is, an amazing example of how a person should conduct their life. To try and describe him with any number of words is an insult to the person he is. He positively impacted so many lives and negatively impacted not a single one. All who were fortunate enough to have met him will always be blessed. He truly is an angel sent to walk among us for a tragically short time. My hope, Amy Lynn, is that you and I can make time so that I can help you to know what a wonderful brother you sadly never got to meet. God bless you.

From Christopher Rodney Craig: May God bless you and keep you my friend on this day of memory and memorial for Rusty. I pray you will do beautiful thing in his name, not just today, but for years to come. Rusty had a consistent kind spirit, he encouraged all he encountered with his way of seeing the best of who people were. In the years I knew him at church his kind ..slow southern greeting...during Passing of the peace, consistently had his grandmother and the congregation smiling and saying "what a polite young man that Rusty is!" 

Though this a hard day with different memories of a life taken too soon, I also hope is a --blessed day-- for both you and all those who knew and loved Rusty. Blessed day-- because now in his memory people might do random acts of kindness. ..trying to see the best in people, finding ways to love others unconditionally. ..maybe even creating projects which follow Rusty's example.

Mike, blessing and peace this day.
To all others who remember Rusty this day, my prayers and joyful anticipation await to see the beautiful deeds done in Rustys name.

From our Second Cousin, Carol: 

I remember my oldest son David spent a summer together with Rusty and they had the best time. He never spoke an unkind word to or about anyone. His grandma Mary was my mothers sister. I hope one day we can meet and get to know each other. I hope this helps a little.

From David Whitlock: I did spend the summer with Mary, Mike, and Rusty. I had a great time with them. I'll remember the places that we went, such as Busch Gardens and The Science Center. I went on my very first roller coaster ride with Rusty right by my side.  I was scared senseless. lol Rusty was a good guy, and I hate that I didn't get to know him better than I did. I'm sure that we would have been good friends. He will be truely missed and never forgotten!

From our dad: I will keep this as short as possible...

One year ago today, PFC Charles "Rusty" Wills was taken from us. He is my youngest son. He was killed by a hit-and-run driver near Fort Bragg, N.C. while riding in a convoy to a field training exercise. The driver of the offending vehicle has not been caught.
I would rather spend my time telling the world what a great kid Rusty was. Smart beyond his years and education and very generous. My heart breaks every single day thinking of what the world is missing out on. I continue to struggle to make sense of it all and to make something positive come out of this. But I SHALL persevere.
Please keep Rusty's sisters and brothers in your thoughts today, as I know hard it is for them. They would appreciate it, as would I. We will make it through the day as we have made it through the past year.
Finally, to those that have been there and supported me and mine through the past year, you will never be forgotten. I, on behalf of my family and myself, will always remember every act of kindness and every kind word. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Dear Rusty,

            The above are some tributes and kind words from family and friends. One year ago today, you were taken from this mortal life. One month and a half later, my Aunt was helping me to find you. She found your obituary. I prayed and prayed that it was a different Charles Wills. I called my mom (Ruth) and told her what was found. She confirmed the worst. I bawled my eyes out. I have loved you all of my remembered life. Sometimes I even talked to you in hopes that God would carry the message to you. I still do. My mom and dad always made sure to tell James Michael and me that you were out there. I was crushed to know that you were gone before I ever got the chance to know you. The only thing that helps to ease the pain is, knowing that it was YOU who lead my Aunt to your obituary. It was YOU who lead me to our family. It was YOU who helped them to accept me, and it was YOU who helped me to establish a relationship with them. It takes everything in me to not get angry at the person who caused your accident though. It takes everything in me not to scream out towards heaven “Why him? Why now?” I do my best to hold on. I do my best to keep my head on straight. I do everything I can to comfort Tabby. I try so hard to make up for what she lost. I know I can’t, but I try. I want you to know that I am taking good care of her, as a sibling should. I also want you to know that your friends and family are speaking of you. They are keeping your goodness and your kindness alive. Dad (Charles) told me today that you wouldn’t want me to cry, that you would want me to celebrate your life, and that you love me. I believe him. When he was telling me that, I could feel you. This might seem strange, but it was like you were right there, helping me to listen to our Father, and to take his words seriously. It was like you were letting me lean on your shoulder. It was like you were telling me that our relationship is not lost just because you aren’t here. I will get to know you in Heaven. I will get to stand with you at Jesus feet, and Heavenly Father will reward us for our patience. I will get to hug you and talk to you face to face. I will get to introduce you to the family that raised me and to your (future) nieces and nephews. I may not get to celebrate knowing you on this Earth, but today, and every day for the rest of my life, I will celebrate God for giving me the opportunity to meet you again someday. I love you so much. I will see you again someday, until then; I will continue talking to you. I will continue hoping that God will deliver the message to you, and I will continue looking forward to seeing you again.

Some people say I'm crazy, but I don't care.

I know that I can feel you over my shoulder there.

When I was told of your passing

I couldn't help but to start asking,

Why was it him? Why at this time?

But life can be taken without reason or rhyme

I want you to know that you are here in my heart

I want you to know that, of me, you'll always be a part

I see you in all the beautiful things

but especially in butterfly wings

When they land on my shoulder, or even just fly by

I always stop what I'm doing and whisper "Rusty! Hi!"

I may not have known you as well as some

But I know I will when my day comes.

I talk to you often and I try to be tough

But you are my brother, and sometimes it's rough

We all still hurt, and we all still cry,

To say that we don't would be a lie.

But we all know, we'll be together someday

That eases the pain and washes our tears away.

Your life was amazing and I try to remember that.

Your love and kindness lives on. That is a fact.

You are missed so dearly but as they say,

I will see you again in Heaven someday.

Truly blessed

Today, I got a call that showed me just how truly blessed I am. As you know, this month is the anniversary of my brother, Rusty's death. It's been a little hard for me to cope. I keep telling myself, 'If I had only found them sooner, I would have gotten to know him'. And there are days that I feel like I really screwed it up. This past week has been a real eye opener for me. I gave a talk at church that was based somewhat on service. While preparing my talk, I realized just how much service I received after I broke my leg, and after both surgeries. Suddenly, things were a bit brighter. After my talk, several people came up to me to tell me how wonderful my talk was. Things got a little brighter. My brother in law came over Monday to pick up his dog, and we talked for a bit. Things got a little brighter. I went to Dr. Garcia to start my weight loss plan and change of lifestyle. I was told that I am healthy and on the right track and mindset. A prayer was answered. Things got a little brighter. Last night, in the limbo between sleep and alertness, I heard a terrifying voice from my past calling my name. I freaked out and start sobbing. My husband was right there. He stroked my hair until I was awake enough to realize that this person couldn't hurt me. Things got a little brighter. I talked to my dad this morning and got his approval to do my brothers work. Things got a little brighter. By the time I got this call, I was thinking that I might be able to make it through this anniversary without melting down. So, this call came. I was walking in my door from going shopping with my mother in law (who has been an excellent support through this). My phone was ringing. I picked it up. The voice on the other end said,'This is Miss Grace (name changed for those who I don't know that read this blog). We got the approval through the school board to hire you. Would you be able to come in tomorrow so we can get started on your background check and your fingerprints?' It was all I could do not to start crying right then. I was shaking and dropped my phone, causing me to accidentally hang up on her. Keep in mind, this is the school Princess goes to, so I really wanted to work here. I immediately said yes and called Princesses mom. Then my mom. Then my husband. Then I posted it on Facebook. The overwhelming support I have gotten from my family and friends is enough to make me start crying again. I know I am very emotional. I feel like this is Gods way of saying, 'Yes you do not have your brother on earth right now, but look at all the things you do have. You are not alone. You are loved and cared for.' I have been praying for comfort for a very long time now. My Heavenly Father has answered my prayers. I just want to share that with everyone I love!

Back to School

I am so sorry that I haven't posted lately. My semester started two weeks ago and as any college student knows, the three most demanding times are the first few weeks, the midterm weeks, and the last few weeks. Please forgive me in advanced if I go AWOL.
I wanted to say that I WILL be getting the bracelets to those who have asked for them this week. I am so sorry it took me so long! As I stated before, my life got pretty busy!
I want to talk about something that has been bothering me. My original post was about something I know to be controversial, but I knew I would receive hate mail no matter what I said. I have always been told to state my opinion. Speak up when you have been wronged. But can I really do those things? No. Why not? Because, simply put, most people care way more about their opinions than yours. Also, people get very brave on the internet. They say things they normally wouldn't say. With this month being what it is, and the stress I am under at the moment, I just can't take being torn down for my opinion. The anniversary of my baby brothers death is coming up, and I am already struggling to keep going as it is. What was my opinion you may ask? Well, for once, I am not going to tell you. I just want to say that I hope that when I am ready to post the original post, I do not get hated for it. I will tell you this though, I was not 'hating on' these people. I was simply saying that I respect your rights and I would like for you to respect mine. Those of you that know me know that I would never judge someone on their choices or lifestyles. Only God can judge. However, when your choice or lifestyle effects my families lives, then I will say something.

On a brighter note, I will start running again today. I was going to start Ten Minute Trainer again today, but I decided that MIGHT be too much at once, so I will start Ten Minute Trainer next week. I am so very excited to get back to a healthy and active me. I will be posting pictures soon of my starting weight. I am so very excited to be able to write about my journey! I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial day. Have a beautiful week!