A tribute to Rusty

From our Uncle Mike: On this date, one year ago today, a life was senselessly taken, and countless others changed forever. A good and decent person was stolen by a careless driver at Ft. Bragg. Rusty, you are so loved, and so missed by so many. I love you.
Uncle Mike

I remember Rusty always enjoying what he got, and even from a very young age, knowing and proudly telling anyone who would listen the true meaning of the holiday. Always helping with decorations, and alwsys wanting to give his money to charities(salvation army bell ringers and such). Even was a bell ringer as a teen. Never saw a kid so fulfilled and happy from helping others.

I take great pride in the fact that I and Mom raised Rusty. I dare say that no one knew him better than I. He was, and is, an amazing example of how a person should conduct their life. To try and describe him with any number of words is an insult to the person he is. He positively impacted so many lives and negatively impacted not a single one. All who were fortunate enough to have met him will always be blessed. He truly is an angel sent to walk among us for a tragically short time. My hope, Amy Lynn, is that you and I can make time so that I can help you to know what a wonderful brother you sadly never got to meet. God bless you.

From Christopher Rodney Craig: May God bless you and keep you my friend on this day of memory and memorial for Rusty. I pray you will do beautiful thing in his name, not just today, but for years to come. Rusty had a consistent kind spirit, he encouraged all he encountered with his way of seeing the best of who people were. In the years I knew him at church his kind ..slow southern greeting...during Passing of the peace, consistently had his grandmother and the congregation smiling and saying "what a polite young man that Rusty is!" 

Though this a hard day with different memories of a life taken too soon, I also hope is a --blessed day-- for both you and all those who knew and loved Rusty. Blessed day-- because now in his memory people might do random acts of kindness. ..trying to see the best in people, finding ways to love others unconditionally. ..maybe even creating projects which follow Rusty's example.

Mike, blessing and peace this day.
To all others who remember Rusty this day, my prayers and joyful anticipation await to see the beautiful deeds done in Rustys name.

From our Second Cousin, Carol: 

I remember my oldest son David spent a summer together with Rusty and they had the best time. He never spoke an unkind word to or about anyone. His grandma Mary was my mothers sister. I hope one day we can meet and get to know each other. I hope this helps a little.

From David Whitlock: I did spend the summer with Mary, Mike, and Rusty. I had a great time with them. I'll remember the places that we went, such as Busch Gardens and The Science Center. I went on my very first roller coaster ride with Rusty right by my side.  I was scared senseless. lol Rusty was a good guy, and I hate that I didn't get to know him better than I did. I'm sure that we would have been good friends. He will be truely missed and never forgotten!

From our dad: I will keep this as short as possible...

One year ago today, PFC Charles "Rusty" Wills was taken from us. He is my youngest son. He was killed by a hit-and-run driver near Fort Bragg, N.C. while riding in a convoy to a field training exercise. The driver of the offending vehicle has not been caught.
I would rather spend my time telling the world what a great kid Rusty was. Smart beyond his years and education and very generous. My heart breaks every single day thinking of what the world is missing out on. I continue to struggle to make sense of it all and to make something positive come out of this. But I SHALL persevere.
Please keep Rusty's sisters and brothers in your thoughts today, as I know hard it is for them. They would appreciate it, as would I. We will make it through the day as we have made it through the past year.
Finally, to those that have been there and supported me and mine through the past year, you will never be forgotten. I, on behalf of my family and myself, will always remember every act of kindness and every kind word. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Dear Rusty,

            The above are some tributes and kind words from family and friends. One year ago today, you were taken from this mortal life. One month and a half later, my Aunt was helping me to find you. She found your obituary. I prayed and prayed that it was a different Charles Wills. I called my mom (Ruth) and told her what was found. She confirmed the worst. I bawled my eyes out. I have loved you all of my remembered life. Sometimes I even talked to you in hopes that God would carry the message to you. I still do. My mom and dad always made sure to tell James Michael and me that you were out there. I was crushed to know that you were gone before I ever got the chance to know you. The only thing that helps to ease the pain is, knowing that it was YOU who lead my Aunt to your obituary. It was YOU who lead me to our family. It was YOU who helped them to accept me, and it was YOU who helped me to establish a relationship with them. It takes everything in me to not get angry at the person who caused your accident though. It takes everything in me not to scream out towards heaven “Why him? Why now?” I do my best to hold on. I do my best to keep my head on straight. I do everything I can to comfort Tabby. I try so hard to make up for what she lost. I know I can’t, but I try. I want you to know that I am taking good care of her, as a sibling should. I also want you to know that your friends and family are speaking of you. They are keeping your goodness and your kindness alive. Dad (Charles) told me today that you wouldn’t want me to cry, that you would want me to celebrate your life, and that you love me. I believe him. When he was telling me that, I could feel you. This might seem strange, but it was like you were right there, helping me to listen to our Father, and to take his words seriously. It was like you were letting me lean on your shoulder. It was like you were telling me that our relationship is not lost just because you aren’t here. I will get to know you in Heaven. I will get to stand with you at Jesus feet, and Heavenly Father will reward us for our patience. I will get to hug you and talk to you face to face. I will get to introduce you to the family that raised me and to your (future) nieces and nephews. I may not get to celebrate knowing you on this Earth, but today, and every day for the rest of my life, I will celebrate God for giving me the opportunity to meet you again someday. I love you so much. I will see you again someday, until then; I will continue talking to you. I will continue hoping that God will deliver the message to you, and I will continue looking forward to seeing you again.

Some people say I'm crazy, but I don't care.

I know that I can feel you over my shoulder there.

When I was told of your passing

I couldn't help but to start asking,

Why was it him? Why at this time?

But life can be taken without reason or rhyme

I want you to know that you are here in my heart

I want you to know that, of me, you'll always be a part

I see you in all the beautiful things

but especially in butterfly wings

When they land on my shoulder, or even just fly by

I always stop what I'm doing and whisper "Rusty! Hi!"

I may not have known you as well as some

But I know I will when my day comes.

I talk to you often and I try to be tough

But you are my brother, and sometimes it's rough

We all still hurt, and we all still cry,

To say that we don't would be a lie.

But we all know, we'll be together someday

That eases the pain and washes our tears away.

Your life was amazing and I try to remember that.

Your love and kindness lives on. That is a fact.

You are missed so dearly but as they say,

I will see you again in Heaven someday.

Truly blessed

Today, I got a call that showed me just how truly blessed I am. As you know, this month is the anniversary of my brother, Rusty's death. It's been a little hard for me to cope. I keep telling myself, 'If I had only found them sooner, I would have gotten to know him'. And there are days that I feel like I really screwed it up. This past week has been a real eye opener for me. I gave a talk at church that was based somewhat on service. While preparing my talk, I realized just how much service I received after I broke my leg, and after both surgeries. Suddenly, things were a bit brighter. After my talk, several people came up to me to tell me how wonderful my talk was. Things got a little brighter. My brother in law came over Monday to pick up his dog, and we talked for a bit. Things got a little brighter. I went to Dr. Garcia to start my weight loss plan and change of lifestyle. I was told that I am healthy and on the right track and mindset. A prayer was answered. Things got a little brighter. Last night, in the limbo between sleep and alertness, I heard a terrifying voice from my past calling my name. I freaked out and start sobbing. My husband was right there. He stroked my hair until I was awake enough to realize that this person couldn't hurt me. Things got a little brighter. I talked to my dad this morning and got his approval to do my brothers work. Things got a little brighter. By the time I got this call, I was thinking that I might be able to make it through this anniversary without melting down. So, this call came. I was walking in my door from going shopping with my mother in law (who has been an excellent support through this). My phone was ringing. I picked it up. The voice on the other end said,'This is Miss Grace (name changed for those who I don't know that read this blog). We got the approval through the school board to hire you. Would you be able to come in tomorrow so we can get started on your background check and your fingerprints?' It was all I could do not to start crying right then. I was shaking and dropped my phone, causing me to accidentally hang up on her. Keep in mind, this is the school Princess goes to, so I really wanted to work here. I immediately said yes and called Princesses mom. Then my mom. Then my husband. Then I posted it on Facebook. The overwhelming support I have gotten from my family and friends is enough to make me start crying again. I know I am very emotional. I feel like this is Gods way of saying, 'Yes you do not have your brother on earth right now, but look at all the things you do have. You are not alone. You are loved and cared for.' I have been praying for comfort for a very long time now. My Heavenly Father has answered my prayers. I just want to share that with everyone I love!

Back to School

I am so sorry that I haven't posted lately. My semester started two weeks ago and as any college student knows, the three most demanding times are the first few weeks, the midterm weeks, and the last few weeks. Please forgive me in advanced if I go AWOL.
I wanted to say that I WILL be getting the bracelets to those who have asked for them this week. I am so sorry it took me so long! As I stated before, my life got pretty busy!
I want to talk about something that has been bothering me. My original post was about something I know to be controversial, but I knew I would receive hate mail no matter what I said. I have always been told to state my opinion. Speak up when you have been wronged. But can I really do those things? No. Why not? Because, simply put, most people care way more about their opinions than yours. Also, people get very brave on the internet. They say things they normally wouldn't say. With this month being what it is, and the stress I am under at the moment, I just can't take being torn down for my opinion. The anniversary of my baby brothers death is coming up, and I am already struggling to keep going as it is. What was my opinion you may ask? Well, for once, I am not going to tell you. I just want to say that I hope that when I am ready to post the original post, I do not get hated for it. I will tell you this though, I was not 'hating on' these people. I was simply saying that I respect your rights and I would like for you to respect mine. Those of you that know me know that I would never judge someone on their choices or lifestyles. Only God can judge. However, when your choice or lifestyle effects my families lives, then I will say something.

On a brighter note, I will start running again today. I was going to start Ten Minute Trainer again today, but I decided that MIGHT be too much at once, so I will start Ten Minute Trainer next week. I am so very excited to get back to a healthy and active me. I will be posting pictures soon of my starting weight. I am so very excited to be able to write about my journey! I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial day. Have a beautiful week!

You never know who is watching

I want to tell you guys something. Last night, before I went to sleep, I cried. I wasn't sad or angry or even scared. I was happy. I was talking to a friend from home when she said the nicest thing she could have possibly said to me. She said "That's so good that your still going and doing your goals! You're inspiring me for sure". I cannot tell you what this meant to me. As many of you know, I was training for a half marathon last year when I came down with the flu at the end of December. It was mid March before the cough decided to leave. I didn't get to do my half marathon, but I decided that I would start training again for next year. I signed up for a ten miler in September. On Easter Sunday, I tripped and broke my leg. This was particularly hard for me because I was on bed rest for nearly three months. I couldn't do anything. I had gone from 165 to 200 lbs. I was devastated. All the weight I had lost and all that hard work for nothing. I started working out again around the end of July once all my stitches were out and I was used to walking again. I've lost a few pounds and am still working towards my half marathon. I can start training again in about two weeks. However I cannot do the ten miler. But, I am still working towards my goals and I am doing the best I can to be healthy and have a good mindset. I have been particularly hard on myself lately. I had no idea that my friend was watching and taking notice. I post my accomplishments because I am proud of them. I didn't know that I could inspire anyone. I have been looking at myself as an overweight woman who is where she is because life handed her some really tough blows. Now I look at myself as a determined person who won't let ANYTHING get in her way. I also received a message from a friend when telling him about my struggles. He said "You can get there Amy, you are a strong woman, you'll be there in no time". Again, I felt like I had been looking at things all wrong. I felt like I was weak because of my injuries. I was seeing the glass as half empty. After these two very thought provoking messages, I started to look at everything in my life differently. Last night, before I went to sleep, I looked over at my snoozing husband and realized just how very lucky I am to have someone like him. Things could have been so much different. I got lucky, I married a really great guy who loves me unconditionally. I cried a lot last night. I think I needed to hear those to things to truly realize how great my life is and to see how great I am. I have never doubted that I had a good life, but now I see it as an amazing blessing. To conclude this blog post, I would like to challenge you all once again to remind yourselves how great you truly are. I would like to give a shout out to people who have inspired me. First names only. :)

My sister Echo. She has been on her on journey to a healthy life, and I know that it wasn't easy. To see how far she has come has really helped me to keep going as well.

My friend Danielle. She is such a great person with amazing confidence in herself and others. I hope to one day be that confident.

My friend Jason. He has been through a difficult time and still came out fighting.

My husband. When he started running, I decided I wanted to as well. He has been there for me through so much and has always supported me in my goals. He is a great person who deserves way more recognition than he gets, but doesn't want it.

There are so many others. I'm sorry this post was all about me. I just really wanted to show you all how one little message or word of kindness could really help someone who might need to hear it.

Singe Dad Laughing and fun times with Children

Today I am going to write about Single Dad Laughing, a blog by Dan Pearce. If you haven't read it, please follow the links below :)

https://www.facebook.com/SingleDadLaughing

http://www.danoah.com/

Dan's blog is rather eye opening most of the time, and it got me thinking a lot this week. For example, he talks about playing with your children (I don't have children, but most of you know that I watch a little girl and sometimes her older brother). I noticed this week, when I play with Princess (I will not use her real name as my blog is not private), she giggles continuously. I love her laugh and her brothers laugh. We were playing hide and go seek today when, out of nowhere, I got a migraine. I turned on Disney Junior for them and gave them some Goldfish crackers. Princess really wanted snuggles. I snuggled her but felt really bad when she started asking me to count (meaning she wanted to hide). I just couldn't do it. I needed to sit. The look on her face broke my heart. I know it wasn't my fault that I got hit with a migraine, but it wasn't hers either. Thankfully, my husband came over for a little bit and played with her. I still felt bad that I couldn't play with her myself, but I knew she was content playing with anyone. Children just want our attention. They want to know they are loved and cared for. We are all they have. In this world of advanced technology, we tend to forget that just sitting them in front of a T.V. or giving them a video game is not enough. Children are only little for so long. They grow into teenagers, and then adults. when this happens, we wonder were all that time went. We are so addicted to technology that we are getting our children addicted as well. Turn off the electronics. Read a story to your children. Ask them about their lives. It may seem boring or even repetitive, but children just want US. ALL of us. They don't just want a hug and a kiss on their way to school or at bedtime. They NEED us. If we don't give them the attention they need and crave, they will get it elsewhere. Whether it be from video games, T.V., or other people. If we don't give our children attention, they will more than likely become teenagers who don't trust their parents and they may even grow into adults that don't stay in touch with their parents. I am saying this based on what I have seen with my friends and with my friends children. Instead of dismissing our children and/or their concerns, we need to embrace them. We need to tell them how much we love them. They are, after all, learning from us.

Love one another

In today's' world, everyone judges each other. It isn't right. Every one is unique and beautiful in their own way. I consider judgement a form of bullying. I want to talk about taking a stand. Instead of judging someone because they look a little different or don't believe the same as you do, take a step back. Put yourself in their shoes. Most of the time we don't know the people we are judging. Sometimes we do know the person, but that does not mean we know EVERYTHING about them. For example, the person you called stupid because they can't read as well as others may be dyslexic. We are all beautiful in our own right. I believe if we can except ourselves and others as the people we are, we will truly be able to have healthy relationships. We all have flaws and I am not saying we are not allowed to work on them, however, we need to be willing to accept that we are all human beings. I want EVERYONE to look in the mirror and tell yourselves ONE good thing. It can be 'My eyes are really looking nice today' or 'I love how my hair looks'. Anything positive. Also, try to compliment people. It again can be something like 'Your eyes are really pretty' or 'your hair is so shiny and smooth.' Find ONE good thing about that person. You never know if that one comment might be just what they need to hear. Besides, who doesn't like a compliment?

What really matters

While everyone is battling over whether or not the Zimmerman  trial was fair, I want to bring everyone's focus back to life in general. In the news today, Glee star Corey Montieth (sp?) died. How do I know this? It was all over Facebook. I think we all need connect to celebrity deaths for one reason or another. For example, when Michael Jackson and Whitney Huston died, music lovers everywhere realized there would never be anything new from them. When Brittany Murphy died, people new a great actress who had a lot of life ahead of her was lost. Princess Diana was an example of good people dying young. We all have experienced a loved one dying in our lives and are able to feel sorry for the families and friends who lost their loved ones. I want everyone of my readers to take a moment this week to say a little prayer for someone, anyone you know that may have lost a loved one recently.

On another subject, I have noticed that a lot of people are addicted to social media. You may think, "not me. I just like connecting with people." Let me ask you this, Can you go a WEEK without social media? If you said no, then I think it is safe to say that you are addicted. When I was in school, if we wanted to talk to a friend or family member, we wrote letters, notes, called them, or just spoke face to face. I used to be addicted to social media as well. What changed? I started writing notes for friends. I sent cards, texts, made phone calls. I realized then that it is so much more delightful to do these things rather than using Facebook or Twitter. I would like to challenge ALL of you this week. Every day, I want you to write a note to your husband, wife, kids, friend, siblings, parent, or whoever you want. I know it is much easier to post it on Facebook, but it is much more personal when it is hand written and made specially for that person. Plus, that person will be so grateful. I'm not saying that we have to give up social media all together. I am simply saying it is better if we not use it for EVERYTHING.